86. SwordQuest: EarthWorld

SwordQuest: EarthWorld (1982, Atari 2600) by Atari

Current 100% Leaderboard (speedrun.com)

SwordQuest: EarthWorld (Atari 2600)
-SwordQuest: WaterWorld (Atari 2600)
-SwordQuest: FireWorld (Atari 2600)

Have you ever smashed a game with a hatchet?  I have.

I have played a LOT of crap in my day, in the Trials and otherwise.  But these awful game mechanics, combined with THE WORST controls I’ve ever played…

When you play Swordquest Earthworld in 2021, you expect nothing.  In 1982, this game was designed to take people’s money.  Folks would see “Win a $25,000 treasure!” and get their hopes and dreams up, and buy a $40 game and take it home and then suffer as I just did.  Pressing the up button 25+ times before the cursor moves… when it finally does you get input lag, and terrible hitboxes… getting screwed by the horrendous Frogger ripoff minigame… the “random” rooms that the amulet gives you, where you should have 12:1 odds to get a room but I literally went up and down over 200 times and STILL didn’t get the room… not to mention the fact this game is quite literally a maze game with no bad guys, you cannot die, it’s cryptic as all hell with stupid items you must place in places you have no idea where they go, it’s BORING as all hell.  You’d be better off speedrunning the dishes.

Do not play this game.  It’s just not worth it.  There is zero reason to.  The contest is over bro.  I had to play it, and it was 3+ hours of my life I’ll never get back.  I could’ve spent that time wiping my ass with a cheese grater.  Or perhaps making out with a great white shark.

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