Secret Scout in the Temple of Demise (1991, NES) by Color Dreams

Current Any% Leaderboard (speedrun.com)

This is the ugliest and worst-controlling NES game I’ve ever played. This is an atrocious game, which nobody should ever have the misfortune of playing. Secret Scout was a Color Dreams special, and is possibly one of the worst games of all time. The speedrun helps to recover some points here, as it does have some speed tech (death warps, damage boosting, and bomb boosting to name a few). But all-in-all, this is an awful game, so bad even the Nerd didn’t finish this episode.

The Nerd’s “lost episode” says it all, but let me say it again: in Secret Scout, you are some nameless dude that has to go into some dumb jungle temple to do something dumb. This game really is so awful and annoying that I have not only forgotten the story to this game, but do not wish to dig it up to reiterate it here. There is no wikipedia article. Only AuthorBlues and I are savvy and smart enough to run this trash. Don’t do it.

You’re better off running beer cans to the recycle yard. You’re better off taking notes on what your dog’s butthole smells like. You’re better off licking batteries.  If you’re thinking about learning this… please stop.  Get some help.